If you’ve been on the internet in the past year, you’ve probably heard about the headache that is the Cybertruck. You may have even seen one in Carlisle. But with winter’s promises of snow and ice creeping up on owners, problems in design that really should’ve been addressed in the beginning are being unearthed.
Some Background
CEO of Tesla, Elon Musk, announced the Cybertruck live on November 21st, 2019, with an estimated starting price of $39,999, and he took a whole lot of creative liberties. The live demonstration, in itself, was a disaster, with “unbreakable” armored windows shattering upon impact. Musk later claimed that was due to the earlier door slam tests, which created microfractures in the glass. People watched it go downhill live, and the live chat said that it feels like it’s “worse than a highschool presentation,” and “a joke.”
Claims – Debunked
Musk has made a lot of tumultuous claims surrounding his newest Tesla venture, and many of them have been debunked on TikTok by Whistlin Diesel (AKA Cody Detwiler). I’ll just list a few here:
Musk once said that “it can go off-roading [better than other trucks],” but it’s so heavy (~6,603 lbs) it sinks in mud, while the Ford F150 (~5,684 lbs) gets through just fine. His tug-of-war video of one against an F-150, shown live to show off the suspension, was also debunked. Detwiler recreated it, and “[the] whole frame just snapped!” Something a normal truck could do, said Detwiler, totaled the Cybertruck.
Musk alleged that Tesla’s armored glass was practically indestructible; as mentioned, in the live unveiling, the glass windows shattered. There have also been reports of windshields shattering under rain – even a microfiber cloth defeated it! Detwiler was further able to pull apart the frame of a door with his bare hands. That shouldn’t happen. Ever. Vehicles shouldn’t be that fragile.
Additional Design Problems
The Cybertruck’s “innovative” stainless steel exoskeleton isn’t really as innovative as Musk and his supporters would like to think. Here’s a lesson in physics; modern cars are equipped with “crumple zones” in the front and back to absorb the impact of a crash. Thick stainless steel doesn’t bend like that, so where does all the force go? That’s right! The occupant! It doesn’t help matters that it picks up fingerprints and is useless in the car wash, so a lot of buyers end up wrapping their trucks in faux stainless steel or matte black for a more sleek look.
The steel isn’t really attached to the truck, either – it’s a bunch of panels glued on. As you’d expect, a car held together by glue is prone to falling apart. Those panels have a tendency to peel off in strips, and the frame likes to fall off. How aerodynamic!
Also, pick-up trucks usually have the spare tire under the bed, but not the Cybertruck! That’d be too simple. The spare tire just sits in a bag, and takes up half the bed space.
And what about the interior controls? Touchscreens in cars are nothing new – the ‘86 Buick Rivera was the first production car to add them – but the big car people upstairs have been getting rid of tactile buttons and dials in favor of huge screens. Why? Well, it’s cheaper than producing and designing separate molds for each make and model of car. For Tesla, that includes putting the gear shift on the screen, too, which is inconvenient.
Other Cybertruck Associated Products
Musk is milking this for all it’s worth, from apparel, to drinkware, to a totally-electric “Cybertruck for kids” ($1,595, including cover). Tesla also offers a “Cyberquad for kids” ($1,695, including cover), and even a Cybertruck inspired bottle opener. No, I’m not kidding. A “CyberOpener,” for $50. Or, if that’s not your prerogative, you can buy the “Cyberwhistle Stealth,” for $60.
So, Is it worth the investment?
The Cybertruck currently has a starting price of $99,990 (which is over double the price Musk had estimated in 2019), not even including all the extra bells and whistles Tesla adds on after you add it to your cart. Musk says this is reasonable because you’ll save an estimated $5,500 on gas over the course of 5 years, but is it really?
2024 has been one of Tesla’s worst performing years for stock sales, with sales dropping about 9.5% for the year. It’s probably the most unpredictable collection of stock data I’ve ever seen, which matters, because stock is usually pretty predictable and sticks to a pattern. That makes sense, because stock markets rely on supply and demand to thrive, but Tesla buyers are a very niche group of individuals.
If you’re planning on doing “truck stuff” with the Cybertruck – like hauling lumber or a trailer – tread with caution. It really isn’t equipped to be much more than a grocery hauler, and you’ll more than likely run into problems after a few runs.
With 49 out of 50 states requiring drivers to have their cars insured, there are a lot of companies out there that offer car insurance – GEICO, the 2nd largest of these companies in the U.S., is no longer offering a plan to Cybertrucks because “this type of vehicle doesn’t meet [their] underwriting guidelines.”
So, is an investment that high really worth the prying eyes? Or the name-calling, or honking?
Disclaimer: Articles designated as “Editorial” represent the views and opinions of the author, not the Periscope staff, CHS/CASD administration, or the CHS student body.
Mia Buttafuoco • Nov 14, 2024 at 10:09 am
I was looking forward to this article, and I have not been disappointed. It’s downright hilarious!